Correspondence

Dear Universe,
If, for the rest of my life, the only people who will find me irresistible are socially awkward middle aged men and/or women please let me know in no uncertain terms.

Clear responses would be acceptable in the following cosmic forms:

Small comet or meteor hitting Fred Phelps in the junk.

Me (or a family member) winning the lottery

or a small and non-destructive volcanic eruption by the Beverly Center (See Volcano staring Tommy Lee Jones.)

I look forward to your response,

Chris