Sleep tight.
You know how sometimes in the early morning hours you will wake up and see that you've woken, for some reason, several hours too early for your alarm and the relief you feel that you get to sleep so much more? What if then in the darkness you feel the slightest tickle on your arm, and when you go to brush it away the tickle transfers to your hand, thus drawing the obvious conclusion that there must be a something to transfer, a cause for that particular tickling. And what then if in your not quite panicking, but well on your way, state you flick your hand away from you and you hear something fall? As the rapidly evaportating fog of sleep fades, would you turn on the light and search the nearby floor for signs that this was all a dream? Seeing perhaps a retainer that has fallen by the bed and could certainly have been in your sleeping hand and caused the offending sensations.
With your mind providing such feasable and pleasantly innocuous solutions to your early morning quandry, how then should you react when you hear what can only be described as "scurrying." And not faint scurrying, but the scurrying of something big enough to put some scurry behind that ing. And what should you do when, in looking towards the sound of the scurrying you see, A GIANT FUCKING ROACH. Because my reaction is apparently to chase the roach with a combination of Resolve carpet cleaner, air freshener, and spray bleach until it's dead, which might I add took a DISTURBINGLY long time to have any effect. Once it is quite conclusively dead I would then wash every dish in sight and clean my room. Which is what you would have found me doing had you come knocking 45 minutes ago at 3 am.
For some reason this is far more upsetting to me than Thanksgiving morning 04 when I woke to find evidence a mouse had been on, and perhaps in my bed while I slept. Mice I get, Mice are fine. What I don't get are bugs big enough, so that when you throw their lifeles bodies off your third floor balcony, you hear the thud of them landing below.
So now, I'm going to inspect every inch of my bed, clear the surrounding area and try not to be awake when the alarm inevitably goes off in 3 hours.
With your mind providing such feasable and pleasantly innocuous solutions to your early morning quandry, how then should you react when you hear what can only be described as "scurrying." And not faint scurrying, but the scurrying of something big enough to put some scurry behind that ing. And what should you do when, in looking towards the sound of the scurrying you see, A GIANT FUCKING ROACH. Because my reaction is apparently to chase the roach with a combination of Resolve carpet cleaner, air freshener, and spray bleach until it's dead, which might I add took a DISTURBINGLY long time to have any effect. Once it is quite conclusively dead I would then wash every dish in sight and clean my room. Which is what you would have found me doing had you come knocking 45 minutes ago at 3 am.
For some reason this is far more upsetting to me than Thanksgiving morning 04 when I woke to find evidence a mouse had been on, and perhaps in my bed while I slept. Mice I get, Mice are fine. What I don't get are bugs big enough, so that when you throw their lifeles bodies off your third floor balcony, you hear the thud of them landing below.
So now, I'm going to inspect every inch of my bed, clear the surrounding area and try not to be awake when the alarm inevitably goes off in 3 hours.
posted by Chris at 3:27 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home