Posts from my Offline Time
The following entries were written while I was without the internet over the last month.
9/22/05
So I'm feeling obscenely trendy right now. I'm sitting in Starbucks unable to connect to the internet, waiting to meet with Brad, and thereby a manager. It's such a ridiculously LA moment. Sitting in Bucks, pumpkin spice latte in hand, typing a blog entry while waiting to go over headshots with a manager. I have arrived, I'm a movie star. Well, eventually if all goes well. Sad though, Dane's not working I haven't seen him in ages, not since Mark's party at the Westin. I'm sure he'll be at the premiere night at Jason's on Sunday, I mean it's Desperate Housewives for goodness sake. and in a roomfull of queens. Fun times. I suppose I should try and not run the battery down if I can help it, I may need to use this to show Brad some of the digital shots. I'm going to see Hellbent right after this, it's a gay slasher flickthey shot it last year at the Weho Halloween Carnivale, so who knows I may see someone I know, though from the preview I saw I doubt it. It's supposed to be pretty bloody as is required by any good slasher pieceit's also getting good reviews, which is encouraging. I can't even remember the last time I saw a movie in the theatre. Got my first paycheck from Gary today, that was a relief, and the hours I've been working at GG should also amount to some significant money, which is good because this month my rent is only going to be 300 because of the prorating of the rent. Perfect. I get to bounce back from the financial trauma of this month. I'll also be working for Kim and her partner from GG, apparently they are planning to be mentors and teach me how to invest in real estate, which at this point I find terrifying.
I was thinking yesterday about teachers, and how we always hear about the brilliant teachers that inspire and all but what about those people that squish the spirit? I don't think their story is told often enough. and so knowing that they will probably never read this I'm going to name a few :-) Mr Lasonde drove me out of band, and while I wasn't terribly good, he could havebeen a bit more constructive.
But our focus today is Mr Armington, I remember the exact moment he killed scouting for me. I was always a target in scouts they all seemed to know I was gay, or maybe they just thought that was the best way to poke fun at me. It was innocuous enough, But i remember the one night in particular we were upstairs in the attic of the scout barn inventorying tents, I was up in the rafters and the older guys were down below, they started poking me in the ass with a broom handle, not lightly might I add. I was terrified of heights so in addition to being humiliated I was also petrified. This went on for a while, with me clutching onto the particular rafter I was near and trying to kick the handle away. Eventually Mr Armington came up and yelled at me, not them, me. He told me to get down and get out of the attic. As if I was somehow asking for this. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man, and until this I hadn't had any particular issues with him. It was as the meeting wound down and we had "circled up" at the end that he made an announcement. he said something to the effect of "there is a time to work and a time to fool around, one person can slow everyone down by goofing off" As he said this he looked pointedly at me. I heard snickering from my assailants. I remember staring back at him in infuriated disbelief. it was at that moment I was done with scouting. I had managed to find a place there, after a long time, after torturous teasing and endless namecalling and insults, I had earned respect from other guys. I wish it hadn't gone that way. But I had always been able to rely in the adults to keep me safe and the others in line, when the teasing/goading got too intense they where there. SO when he turned on me and said that, it was over. So thanks Mr Armington. You had an impact on my life. A negative impact that has forever ingrained you in my mind as someone who would not defend me. Suck on that bitch.
10/8/05
It's late, i just finished watching my first Netflix rental, Latter Days. Interesting to say the least.I mean they manage to get religious zealotry, suicide, electro shock/conversion therapy, gay waiters, a suffering AIDS victim, and a bet into one movie. that hits almost all the ridiculously cliched gay film requirements, there was a drag queen but only briefly, and it wasn't even long enough for her to be sassy. Ah well. I should write a screenplay,about actual gays. Yeah, I'm sure I'm the first. I'm just so tired of the pretty Weho boys getting all the screen time. I don't want to know what those guys are up to in real life, so why watch a fictitious version?
I have been perturbed yet again to hear tales of my apparent escapades. Going on what I've heard I have been quite the dynamo. Do people not have their own lives to make shit up about? I will state for the record that the last time I hooked up with someone was in May of 04, and no you do not know him, he was a cute, sweet Harvard boy. There was an additional smooch session more recently, with a very attractive and sweet guy which was perfect in every way, and as encounters go also refreshingly innocent. Aside from that my plate has been empty for a good bit now. I have barely dated anyone since moving out here, and I have become a very picky eater. If you insist on spreading rumors about me, give me a call, I'm more than happy to fill in the details if there are any, and also more than happy to write you off as a douche if you don't. Whoops! too late for some of you.
I was thinking earlier, about a bunch of stuff actually, but in particular about the people I find myself drawn to, not just boys, I mean in high school I surrounded myself with dynamic and talented people, and the only guys I have ever dated or even been drawnto are amazing, passionate, gifted guys. All of them, I can't think of one guy I have dated, or even hooked up with, that isn't amazing either in what they do or who they are, I'm not going to get into a list of them, they know who they are. Even if I don't particularly care to hang out with all of them, they are still pretty driven and talented and that's always been the case, I always find myself surrounded by the people trying to make a difference or pursuing their dreams. And the funny thing is they always seem to be unable to see that there would beany other way about it. They know what they want to do and do it. I'm rambling, again, anyway, I'll get all this posted as soon as we have internet in the apt which should be monday. I hate not having it here. it makes me crazy.
9/22/05
So I'm feeling obscenely trendy right now. I'm sitting in Starbucks unable to connect to the internet, waiting to meet with Brad, and thereby a manager. It's such a ridiculously LA moment. Sitting in Bucks, pumpkin spice latte in hand, typing a blog entry while waiting to go over headshots with a manager. I have arrived, I'm a movie star. Well, eventually if all goes well. Sad though, Dane's not working I haven't seen him in ages, not since Mark's party at the Westin. I'm sure he'll be at the premiere night at Jason's on Sunday, I mean it's Desperate Housewives for goodness sake. and in a roomfull of queens. Fun times. I suppose I should try and not run the battery down if I can help it, I may need to use this to show Brad some of the digital shots. I'm going to see Hellbent right after this, it's a gay slasher flickthey shot it last year at the Weho Halloween Carnivale, so who knows I may see someone I know, though from the preview I saw I doubt it. It's supposed to be pretty bloody as is required by any good slasher pieceit's also getting good reviews, which is encouraging. I can't even remember the last time I saw a movie in the theatre. Got my first paycheck from Gary today, that was a relief, and the hours I've been working at GG should also amount to some significant money, which is good because this month my rent is only going to be 300 because of the prorating of the rent. Perfect. I get to bounce back from the financial trauma of this month. I'll also be working for Kim and her partner from GG, apparently they are planning to be mentors and teach me how to invest in real estate, which at this point I find terrifying.
I was thinking yesterday about teachers, and how we always hear about the brilliant teachers that inspire and all but what about those people that squish the spirit? I don't think their story is told often enough. and so knowing that they will probably never read this I'm going to name a few :-) Mr Lasonde drove me out of band, and while I wasn't terribly good, he could havebeen a bit more constructive.
But our focus today is Mr Armington, I remember the exact moment he killed scouting for me. I was always a target in scouts they all seemed to know I was gay, or maybe they just thought that was the best way to poke fun at me. It was innocuous enough, But i remember the one night in particular we were upstairs in the attic of the scout barn inventorying tents, I was up in the rafters and the older guys were down below, they started poking me in the ass with a broom handle, not lightly might I add. I was terrified of heights so in addition to being humiliated I was also petrified. This went on for a while, with me clutching onto the particular rafter I was near and trying to kick the handle away. Eventually Mr Armington came up and yelled at me, not them, me. He told me to get down and get out of the attic. As if I was somehow asking for this. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man, and until this I hadn't had any particular issues with him. It was as the meeting wound down and we had "circled up" at the end that he made an announcement. he said something to the effect of "there is a time to work and a time to fool around, one person can slow everyone down by goofing off" As he said this he looked pointedly at me. I heard snickering from my assailants. I remember staring back at him in infuriated disbelief. it was at that moment I was done with scouting. I had managed to find a place there, after a long time, after torturous teasing and endless namecalling and insults, I had earned respect from other guys. I wish it hadn't gone that way. But I had always been able to rely in the adults to keep me safe and the others in line, when the teasing/goading got too intense they where there. SO when he turned on me and said that, it was over. So thanks Mr Armington. You had an impact on my life. A negative impact that has forever ingrained you in my mind as someone who would not defend me. Suck on that bitch.
10/8/05
It's late, i just finished watching my first Netflix rental, Latter Days. Interesting to say the least.I mean they manage to get religious zealotry, suicide, electro shock/conversion therapy, gay waiters, a suffering AIDS victim, and a bet into one movie. that hits almost all the ridiculously cliched gay film requirements, there was a drag queen but only briefly, and it wasn't even long enough for her to be sassy. Ah well. I should write a screenplay,about actual gays. Yeah, I'm sure I'm the first. I'm just so tired of the pretty Weho boys getting all the screen time. I don't want to know what those guys are up to in real life, so why watch a fictitious version?
I have been perturbed yet again to hear tales of my apparent escapades. Going on what I've heard I have been quite the dynamo. Do people not have their own lives to make shit up about? I will state for the record that the last time I hooked up with someone was in May of 04, and no you do not know him, he was a cute, sweet Harvard boy. There was an additional smooch session more recently, with a very attractive and sweet guy which was perfect in every way, and as encounters go also refreshingly innocent. Aside from that my plate has been empty for a good bit now. I have barely dated anyone since moving out here, and I have become a very picky eater. If you insist on spreading rumors about me, give me a call, I'm more than happy to fill in the details if there are any, and also more than happy to write you off as a douche if you don't. Whoops! too late for some of you.
I was thinking earlier, about a bunch of stuff actually, but in particular about the people I find myself drawn to, not just boys, I mean in high school I surrounded myself with dynamic and talented people, and the only guys I have ever dated or even been drawnto are amazing, passionate, gifted guys. All of them, I can't think of one guy I have dated, or even hooked up with, that isn't amazing either in what they do or who they are, I'm not going to get into a list of them, they know who they are. Even if I don't particularly care to hang out with all of them, they are still pretty driven and talented and that's always been the case, I always find myself surrounded by the people trying to make a difference or pursuing their dreams. And the funny thing is they always seem to be unable to see that there would beany other way about it. They know what they want to do and do it. I'm rambling, again, anyway, I'll get all this posted as soon as we have internet in the apt which should be monday. I hate not having it here. it makes me crazy.
posted by Chris at 8:35 PM
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