So frustrated

So, tonight was both good and bad. Let's start with the bad. I went to visit my grandmother, which is normally an ok experience, not great but ok. today immediatelly got off to a rough start. she mentioned that she had seen me in the audience on Ellen, that's great, I was happy she had. Then she said,"usually at 11 I just change the channel because I don't care for her or what she stands for." Grrrrr. Not a great way to start the evening, seeing as how I was screaming my head off for one of my heros while I was standing there. To clarify, my grandmother on my father's side is the ONLY person in my life that does not know I'm gay. I don't exactly know why that is, because it means I have to endure moments like that and frankly, I don't know why. I suppose it's because she's older, which is not an excuse, and besides, I think it would be good for her to know that her golden boy grandson is a big mo. Might change, or at least give her some perspective. Though to her credit she did not finish the visit with the phrase she has finished ALL of our visits and birthday cards with for the last three years, "I hope I'm still here when you get back." So that was a relief.

On to the good, i had BBQ fun at Jon's in Medford, and saw Amy, Beth, Bekka, Jon, Lindsey, and Matt. Which was so nice, because I hadn't seen Amy and Bekka in a year, Beth in a year and a half, and Matt and Lindsey in god knows how long. It was really really nice to see them again. It's amazing how easily we just shrug right back into those relationships, though now with the perspective of a few more years. SO yeah, the night ended beautifully with good friends and ice cream. Hopefully some will be in attendance tomorrow for our little gathering. I have so little time left at home it sucks. Tomorrow morning I go to see Amy, Nick and the kids and then I head back to the house for a gathering of loved ones and food. Now bed.